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Christina's Journal
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Date:2010-03-21 15:37
Subject:Rant on Job Searches


            Isn’t the job search one of the oddest set up things? Can you be defined as a worker by your last 3 jobs? I know I sure can’t. Then especially in this area I get the question “I doesn’t seem like you stay with your jobs long?” Ok Mama/Sir I live in a town that is dying, half the places I work either close, are seasonal, or I took in the first place just because I had to have something. I swear I think companies should do interviews where they put you doing whatever job it is you are interested in for about an hour and although they can’t expect to you to know how to do everything they could at least judge your usages or your own knowledge and time management, etc.

            Unfortunately for me some of the jobs I love the most are ones that either pay to little to support a family, Seasonal, or just really aren’t up here.

I would love to manage a decent drycleaner in the area or work with a nice retail outlet where people would understand that even though I haven’t managed retail, I have doing just about everything I possible could in one short of the paperwork. I have managed shift in a number of places but not retail.

Who knows what it is with me and jobs. I just want to find a place that can be more of a home than just a place I can’t wait to clock out of.

Make me Smile
Date:2010-03-21 15:14
Subject:Posting a couple of rants of mine recently

March 3, 2010 3:30 am


I have been reading a lot of the same authors lately and I think I have used that as a way to turn my brain off and just enjoy rather than think and analyze what it is I am seeing. So on our last trip into the library James picked out a few books that he thought just sounded like me. After finishing a rather long book in one of my current series, I decided to take a longer look at some of the books he grabbed before jumping back into my same old readings. All of the books seem to be of the young adult reading level and they also all seem to be the times that press the issues. The kind that ask the questions of life bluntly. So I thought that could be a good break from my latest science fiction addiction. The one I am finishing up is a first novel by Dana Reinhardt, published in 2006, titled a brief chapter in my impossible life. The lead in this story is a 16 yr old high school student who has spent her life knowing and accepting that she is adopted and she is now faced with her birth mother wishing to contact her. That alone has taken up quite a bit of the story but along with that and above and beyond it is the number of questions we all face in life, the biggest of which being “Who am I” and “Where do I fit into all of this”? It is an enjoyable book, one that always seems to head straight into the questions rather than using the dialogue to provide outside insight. I have found much of my reading time spent thinking about the same questions and how my life has been affected in the times that I chose to ask them.

            The heroine is 16. Not an advanced age by any means. This is a time when we all seemed to be controlled by our constant states of emotion. Be it in love, stress or exhaustion. Looking back I find my own teen years to be just as frantic and hurried as everyone else’s. I was nothing special, had no major climactic wars of self to handle. When I think back now I feel that I was so busy rushing around worrying about ever small occurrence be it the next test or the next break up, that I didn’t have the time or fortitude to real have any big epiphanies of self. I was too busy worrying about the everyday state of being to stop and think about who I was or would be in the overall sense. Of course I Must have had times when the thought of my place in this world brought me a few moments of wonder but all in all I just didn’t have the time to think about farther than this weekend or next month.

            I was not so self indulged that I did not think about the fate of others though and I did understand that many others were making life long decisions all around me. Looking at it now, I cannot imagine being in high school and being faced with decisions that would affect another person’s state of being. My own mother was 15 when she found out she was pregnant. I had a few friends in high school go through with the same thing. Although my mother’s choices were not  stellar in the slightest but I can say that many of the friends I had, faced with this decision, now looking at their lives as not only their own, made some of the best choices they could and many are some of the best mothers I have had the chance to see. Would I have handled things as well or would I have continued to think and act like a child and followed in my mother’s footsteps. Well, I guess I will never know. I do know though that no matter what age you are, you can never be prepared for the change in thinking and being that having a child brings you. When your choices no longer are your own and you begin to look at every action as something that may harm your child s well being, you realize that you no longer own your own mind. At least most mothers do this willingly. There are always the cases where mothers choose not to change, like my mother, and continue to think of all choices as only theirs until they are forced to see how those choices, often negatively, affect their child. Sometimes those are the wake up calls a person needs and of course sometimes it just doesn’t matter how bad things get, people will act like they choose no matter what happens.

            I was a lucky mother. I got to plan out a time that would be good for me to become a mother. As many of you know, James and I decided to get pregnant earlier than we would have like due to some medical complications and a doctor’s advice which it seems now might have been wrong, but we did consciously make the choice to have a child. Not many people have that luck. There are awful lots of “opps” walking around. Obviously I was one of those. But as I was saying James and I knew from the day I got pregnant on. We planned and read and talked about just about everything to do with Kenneth that we could think of. Despite all that, I still reacted differently, to him being in our life, than I ever would have thought possible. I still don’t feel that I have filled the spot that I always saw myself as being. I am not the mother I would have liked to be. Because of that and a million other things, I am usually the last person to give advice or insight into parenting. But in reading this book I couldn’t help but think about the place mothers, or parents as a whole, are faced with being. When asked to think about “who you are”, most mothers would use that as one of the main descriptions in their state of being. “I am a mother“, or even “I am Kenneth’s mom”. I am guilty of that myself. I have been thinking though that maybe we should be careful of using those things first. Are we not relating our personality and choices toward the stigma of that statement?

 Can you be a married, a mother and bisexual? Can you be a Gay father? Of course you can, but by stating the mother or father part first you are setting yourself up with one stigma, when that may be very little of what you are. I am a mother and I would dare to say that I even look like the stereotypical stay at home mom but when you add in my choices and my beliefs you are introducing someone very different from the same little “mommy” you thought you were.

Just my latest 2cents on that.

Make me Smile

Date:2009-09-15 23:26

Got a ton to update with so just gonna give the listing

47. December 14, 2008 Ironside (bk 3) Holly Black 323
48. December 15, 2008 Dark Side of the moon Sherrilyn Kenyon 322
49. December 16, 2008 Bad Attitude Sherrilyn Kenyon 359
50.December 17, 2008 Vampire, Interrupted Lynsay Sands 370
51. ✠Haunted (bk 5) Meg Cabot 246
52. âœâ Twilight (bk 6) Meg Cabot 245
53. December 18, 2008 Look for me by moonlight Mary Downing Hahn 198
54.ââ Lover Enshrined J. R. Ward 542
55. December 19, 2008 A Bone to pick Charlaine Harris 252
56. December 20, 2008 Dear John Nicholas Sparks Audio
57. December 21, 2008 Single white vampire Lynsay Sands 369
58. December 22, 2008 Digital Fortress Dan Brown 372
59. December 23, 2008 The second time around Mary Higgins Clark Audio
60. December 24, 2008 Bewitched Susan Krinard, Maggie Shayne, Lisa Higdon, Amy Elizabeth Saunders 341
61. December 25, 2008 She went all the way Meggin Cabot 374
62. December 26, 2008 Boy meets girl Meg Cabot 383
63. December 27, 2008 Every boyâ™s got one Meg cabot 328
64. December 27, 2008 Julius house Charlaine Harris 221
65. December 27, 2008 Dead over Heels Charlaine Harris 253
66. December 28, 2008 Last Scene Alive Charlaine Harris 228
67. December 28, 2008 Portrait in death J.D. Robb 347
68. December 30, 2008 A fool and his honey Charlaine Harris 304
69. Jan 1, 2009 Twilight Hunger Maggie Shayne 393
70. Jan 3, 2009 1st to die James Patterson 424
71. Jan 5, 2009 The boy next door Meggin Cabot 374
72. Jan 7, 2009 Peeps Scott Westerfield 312
73.Jan 7, 2009 The Subtle Knife Phillip Pullman Audio
74. Jan 7, 2009 Waiting for Godot Samuel Beckett 61
75. Jan 11, 2009 Where are you now Mary Higgins Clark Audio
76. Jan 12, 2009 The Bell Jar Sylvia Plath 216
77. Jan 13, 2009 In the Woods Tana French 429
78. Jan 14, 2009 The Pagan stone (Sign of Seven Trilogy part 3) Nora Roberts 305
79.Jan 15, 2009 Vampires are Forever Lynsay Sands 361
80. Jan 16, 2009 The mediator: darkest hour Meg Cabot 316
81. Jan 17, 2009 2nd Chance James Patterson 498
82. January 18, 2009 Murder Game Christine Feehan 446
83. January 18, 2009 Cirque du freak: A Living nightmare Darren Shan 257
84. Jan 20, 2009 3rd Degree James Patterson 438
85. Jan 21, 2009 Acheron Sherrilyn Kenyon 728
86. Jan 21, 2009 Jinx Meg Cabot 262
87. Jan 22, 2009 Thirsty M.T. Anderson 249
88. Jan 22, 2009 The Choice Nicholas Sparks 272
89. Jan 24, 2009 Uglies Scott Westerfeld 425
90. Jan 26, 2009 Step on a crack James patterson 383
91. Jan 29, 2008 Pretties Scott Westerfeld 370
92. Jan 30, 2008 Derickâ™s Bane Mary Janice Davidson
93. Jan 31, 2008 Personal Demon Kelley Armstrong
94. Feb 1, 2008 Men of the otherworld Kelley Armstrong 369
95. Feb 2, 2008 Living with the dead Kelley Armstrong 372
96. Feb 2, 2008 Specials Scott Westerfeld 372
97.Feburary 4, 2009 4th of July James Patterson 392
98. Feburary 8, 2009 5th Horseman James Patterson 333
99. Feburary 9, 2009 Salvation in death J. D. Robb 349
100. February 10, 2009 Fish out of water Mary Janice Davidson 270
101. February 10, 2009 A Bite to Remember Lynsay Sands 362
102 February 12, 2009 6th Target James Patterson 326
103. February 12, 2009 Hello, Gorgeous Maryjanice Davidson 195
104. February 13, 2009 Sword of Darkness Kinley Macgregor / Sherrilyn Kenyon 354
105. February 14, 2009 The Accidental Vampire Lynsay Sands 361
106. Feburary 15, 2009 The Rogue Hunter Lynsay Sands 361
107. February 16, 2009 Cravings Laurell K Hamilton, Maryjanice Davidson, Eileen Wilks, Rebecca York 358
108. February 16, 2009 Night Embrace Sherrilyn Kenyon 408
109. February 17, 2009 Kiss the night Sherrilyn Kenyon 361
110. February 17, 2009 Dance with the Devil Sherrilyn Kenyon 343
111.February 18, 2009 The Dream Hunter Sherrilyn Kenyon 340
112. February 21, 2009 Secrets Volume 8 Jeanie Cesarini, Alice Gaines, MaryJanice Davidson,Liz Maverick 314
113.February 24, 2009 Secrets Volume 6 Assorted 314
114. March 01, 2008 Wolf at the door Christina Warren 344
115. March 02, 200 White witch Black Curse Kim Harrison 504
116. March 11, 2009 My big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon Jim Butcher, Kelley Armstrong, Katie MacAlister, Marjorie M. Liu, P.N. Erid, Caitlin Kitteredge, Rachel Caine. Lilith Saintcrow, Ronda Thompson 358
117. March 12, 2009 Upon The Midnight Clear Sherrilyn Kenyon 282
118. March 13, 2009 Born to be Bad Sherrilyn Kenyon 366
119. March 15, 2009 One Bite with a Stranger Christine Warren 343
120.March 18, 2009 Hotter than hell Susan Krinard, Keri Arthur, L.A. Banks, Marjorie M. Liu, Cheyenne McCray, Kim Harrison, etc⦠491
121. March 20, 2009 Dragonswan Sherrilyn Kenyon 86
122. March 21, 2009 Seduced by Magic Cheyanne McCray 372
123. March 22, 2009 The Iron Hunt Marjorie M. Liu 305
124.March 23, 2009 Love at First Bite Sherrilyn Kenyon, L.A. Banks, Susan Squires, Ronda Thompson 371
125. March 24, 2009 Dead Until Dark (rr) Charlaine Harris 292
126. March 25, 2009 Living Dead in Dallas (rr) Charlaine Harris 291
127. March 26, 2009 Club Dead (rr) Charlaine Harris 292
128. March 27, 2009 Dead to the world (rr) Charlaine Harris 310
129. March 28, 2009 Dead as a Doornail (rr) Charlaine Harris 310
130. March 30, 2009 Defenitly Dead (rr) Charlaine Harris 342
131. March 31, 2009 Altgether Dead (rr) Charlaine Harris 342
132. April 1, 2009 One Silent Night Sherrilyn Kenyon 310
133. April 2, 2009 Heaven and Earth (rr) Nora Roberts 346
134. April 3, 2009 Face the Fire (rr) Nora Roberts 358
135. April 5, 2009 From Dead to worse Charlaine Harris 321
136. April 6, 2009 He Sees you when your sleeping Mary and Carol Higgins Clark 230
137.April 7, 2009 The Immortal Hunter Lynsay Sands 360
138. April 9, 2009 Love Bites Lynsay Sands 373
139. April 10, 2009 Fool Me once Fern Michaels 309
140. April 11, 2009 Judge and Jury James Patterson 310
141. April 12, 2009 Thy Brothers Wife Andrew M Greeley 304
142. April 13, 2009 Dream Chaser Sherrilyn Kenyon 359
143. April 16, 2009 Wicked Gregory Maguire 409
144. April 17, 2009 Sail James Patterson 310
145. April 19, 2009 Marked P.C Cast and Kristen Cast 306
146. April 20, 2009 Howl at the moon Christine Warren 331
147. April 22, 2009 Youâ™re so vein Christine Warren 327
148. April 23, 2009 Tribute Nora Roberts 451
149. April 26, 2009 The Lucky One Nicholas Sparks 326
150. April 27, 2009 A Quick Bite Lynsay Sands 360
151. April 28, 2009 Love is hell Melissa Marr, Scott Weterfeld, justine Larlalestier, Gabrielle Zevin, Laurie Faria Stolarz 263
152. April 30, 2009 Dead after Dark J.R. Ward, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Susan Squires, Dianna Love 373
153. May 4, 2009 7th Heaven James Patterson 376
154. May 5, 2009 Betrayed P.C. & Kristin Cast 310
155. May 6,2009 Chosen P. C. & Kristin Cast 307
156. May 9, 2009 Untamed P.C & Kristin Cast 338
157. May 13, 2009 Drop Dead Georgeous Mary Janice Davidson 200
158 May 14, 2009 Magic or Madness Justine Larbalestier 271
159. May 15, 2009 Samâ™s letters to Jenifer James patterson 263
160. May 16, 2009 Over the moon Angela Knight, Maryjanice Davidson, Virginia Kantra, Sunny 329
161. May 16, 2009 Youâ™ve been warned James patterson 374
162. May 17, 2009 Blue is for nightmares Laurie Faria Stolarz 283
163. May 17, 2009 Touch the Dark Karen Chance 307
164. May 18, 2009 Walk on the Wild Side Christine Warren 344
165. May 18, 2009 Sheâ™s no Faerie Princess Christine Warren 333
166. May 19, 2009 Demon you Know Christine Warren 344
167. May 22,2009 Magic lessons Justine Larbalestier 275
168. May 24, 2009 When will there be good news Kate Atkinson 388
169. June 12, 2009 Bleed Laurie Faria Stolarz 225
170. June 16, 2009 Hunterâ™s moon Lori handaland 340
171. June 17, 2009 Honeymoon James Patterson 311
172. June 19, 2009 Cradle and all James Patterson 325
173. June 20, 2009 White is for magic Laurie Faria Stolarz 301
174. June 22, 2009 Burning Wild Christine Feehan 465
175. June 23, 2009 Confessions of a werewolf supermodel Ronda Thompson 343
176. June 24, 2009 Maximum Ride: Max James Patterson Audio
177. June 24, 2009 The Beach House James Patterson 358
178. June 25, 2009 Mona Lisa Awakening Sunny 276
179. June 26, 2009 Hide and seek James Patterson 356
180. June 27, 2009 The Bitten L.A Banks 463
181. June 28, 2009 The Lake house James Patterson 376
182. June 29, 2009 Moon Fever Susan sizemore, Maggie Shayne, Lori Handaland, Caridad Pineiro 374
183. June 30, 2009 Almost Dead Lisa Jackson 423
184. July 1, 2009 The untamed one Ronda Jackson 311
185. July 2, 2009 The Dangerous days of Daniel X James Patterson 238
186. July 3, 2009 Perfect for the beach Lori foster, Janelle denison, Erin McCarthy, Maryjanice Davidson, Kayla Perrin, Morgan Leight 298
187 July 4, 2009 The Time Paradox Eoin Colfer 395
188. July 6th, 2009 Hunted The Casts 323
189. July 7th, 2009 Mysteria Lane Maryjanice Davidson, susan grant, gena show alter & p.c. cast 294
190. July 9th, 2009 Blue moon Lori Handeland 315
191. July 12, 2009 Dark moon Lori Handaland 336
192. July 15, 2009 Sancutury Nora Roberts 371
193. July 18, 2009 Happy are those that mourn Andrew M Greeley 288
194. July 19, 2009 The Prime objective Ginna Gray 360
195. July 20, 2009 Judas Kiss J.T. Ellison 410
196. July 22, 2009 The horse and his boy C. S Lewis 224
197. July 34, 2009 Prince Caspian C.S Lewis 223
198. July 29. 2009 The voyage of the Dawn Treader C.S Lewis 248
199. July 29, 2009 The silver chair C.S Lewis 243
200. July 30, 2009 The Last Battle C.S Lewis 211
201. July, 31, 2009 Into the dark Judith Arnold 243
202. August 1, 2009 A salty piece of land (rr) Jimmy buffett 460
203. August 2, 2009 The Perfect Couple Brenda Novak 439
204. August 4, 2009 Blind Eye Jan Coffey 406
205. August 5, 2009 The Perfect Liar Brenda Novak 423
206. ? For a few demons more Kim Harrison 455
207. ? The tales of Beedle the bard J. K Rowling 111
208. ? Suite 606 J.D Robb, Mary Blarney, Ruth Ryan Langan, Mary Kay Mccomas 345
209.August 7, 2009 Beautyâ™s Release Anne Rice writing as A.N Roquluaure 238
210. August 9, 2009 Nightworld Vol 2 L.J Smith 662
211. August 11, 2009 Guilty Pleasures (rr) Laurell K. Hamilton 266
212. August 13, 2009 Beneath the blood red moon Shannon Drake 394
213. August 14, 2009 Faerie Wars Herbie Brennan 368
214. August 16, 2009 Cerulean Sins Laurell K Hamilton 405
215. August 17, 2009 Incubus dreams (rr) Laurell K hamilton 658
216. August 19, 2009 Jester James Patterson 452
My Labotomy Howard Dully 286

Glue    Irvine welsh    469
Storm of Visions Christina Dodd 388
A harvest of bone Yasmine Galenorn 277
night world vol #3 L.J Smith 732
Hunterâ™s moon Karen Robards 276
The Au Pairs Melissa De La Cruz 294
See more progress on: keep track of every book i read this year

Make me Smile

Date:2008-12-19 20:34
Subject:December 11 - 18

December 11. 2008 Ninth Key by Meg Cabot- Honestly as much as I like these books and enjoy the quick read that they are, I really don’t have much to say about them. Book 2 in the series

December 12, 2008 Real Murders by Charlaine Harris- Since I have read all of Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse novels to date, I figure why not check out one of her other series, this is the first in the aurora teagarden mysterys. A pretty typical who dunit but one I enjoyed none the less.

December 12, 2008- Reunion by Meg Cabot- See notes above, Book 3 in series

December 13, 2008- Valiant by Holly Black- what a twisted series this is turning out to be. I enjoyed it. I think these are a touch harsh for the young adults they are marketed to, Try 16 and up maybe. This one show how interaction between humans and faery folk can go all to hell. Evil, addiction and love all show there heads in this. It does not include any of the characters from book one until the last 40 pages or so and that is only as a side character.

December 13, 2008 Tall, Dark and Hungry by Lynsay Sands- This is Bastien’s story who happens to be one of my favorite characters in these novels.

December 14, 2008 Ironside by Holly Black- this is the final (?) book in this series so far, it includes characters from both novels and I believe is the best of all three.

December 15, 2008- Dark Side of the moon by Sherrilyn Kenyon- this is another in the Were-hunter side of this series and includes many of the other major characters and opens up hell for the future stories

December 16, 2008 Bad Attitude by Sherrilyn Kenyon- I have enjoyed Kenyons Hunter books so much that I figured why not try one of her other series. i enjoyed this but it is a pretty typical love story with a background of a CIA kinda agency.

December 17, 2008 Vampire, Interrupted by Lynsay Sands- probably my favorite sands by far at this point. The mother of most of the main characters gets her chance to find love. Adds a spin to this series.

Haunted (bk 5) and Twilight (bk 6) by Meg Cabot- see above

December 18, 2008 Look for me by moonlight by Mary Downing Hahn Just a quick little book i picked up because of it’s vampire background. Pretty typical play on a teen horror

December 18 Lover Enshrined (bk 6) by J, R, Ward- God do I love these characters and watching them grow. This one takes a lot of chances and opens up a ton of new characters too the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. I was so excited when this one arrived. It shows the wecknesses in people (even if they are gods and vampires) and creates a new evil for the brotherhood. Even opens a homosexual storyline. Ward isn’t afraid to touch and subject, she has dealt with rape, BDSM, and now gay subject. Gotta give her great credit and I can’t wait to see where these go.

See more progress on: keep track of every book i read this year

1 smile| Make me Smile

Date:2008-12-19 20:31
Subject:12/03 to 12/11

December 03, 2008 Crazy in Love by Luanne Rice- I enjoy Luanne Rice but it ways on me. They are romances with a depressing twist. Lots of dealing with death and betrayal and stories of survival. This story was much like all of her other ones, I would not say it was the best by any means but i enjoy her characters.

December 04, 2008 Tithe by Holly Black- YEAHHHH a new series to check out. Its about Faeries, good, bad, and everything in between. I am enjoying the story’s so far. The writer also worked on the movie The Spiderwick Chronicles so the books have a lot of the same feel as that movie did. These are dark faeries tales with a modern twist. It is described as a romantic horror and that a great description. I have picked up the other 3 in the series and am going to work on them soon.

December 05, 2008 Turbulent Sea by Christine Feehan- This is the most current of the Drake sisters novels. As with all the others i enjoyed the romance of it and the magic. They all follow the same outline but the developement of the characters is what makes these stories so enjoyable. This is about Joley Drake, the “wild child” of the Drake sisters. Her story has been building through the other books and comes to a violent end in this story.

December 06, 2008 Seize the Night by Sherrilyn Kenyon- I have really jumped into Kenyon’s stories with 2 feet and I love them. This story is the story of Tabitha and Valerius. Both characters that I really enjoyed. It included many of the characters from the other stories I have read and as you know I love a book with people I already know about. This was a Darkhunter/mortal story and I thought at the time I read it that they all would be that format, boyy was I wrong.

December 07, 2008 I Heard that song before by Mary Higgins Clark- I took this one in as an audio book and am glad I did. MHC is one of the first authors I ever tried to read “all” of. I got really burnt out on her about 10 years ago and have just been picking her books up every once in a while since then. Although this was a decent book it was kind of cliche. A typical who done it that didn’t take me long to figure out.

December 08, 2008 Sins of the Night/ The Beginning by Sherrilyn Kenyon- Ahhh my first step away from the hunter/mortal story line. This book included a small shor story “The Beginning” at the back of it which I made a point of reading first so that I would understand what was going on. I think the short story was needed because this book took a step away from her other storylines and with the old format, a huge bit of back story was not needed, just the bits she explained in the books but with this one you needed to understand where the dark hunters came from. This story takes a look at a Gods role in immortals lives. this is the story of Danger and Alexion, Danger is a female dark-hunter while Alexion is the right hand to a god. He is the one who comes in and cleans up the mess when the dark-hunters begin to go bad. How can you trust the man that was sent to kill you if you make a bad choice?

December 08, 2008 The Mediator: Shadowlands by Meg Cabot- How great to find more authors. This is another new series I am trying out. VERYY young adult but enjoyable. This is the same author that does “The Princess Diaries” stuff if that tells you haw young it is. I have decided to by my sister a box set of these books if they have them. It is about a “Mediator” the person who can see ghosts and is there to help them finish whatever and pass on. She happens to be a 17? yr old girl so that has obviously played a big part in her life. She has to move to a new place and take on a girl who is recently dead and pissed about it when she takes her now open spot at a private school. I am going to check out the rest of these.

December 09, 2008 Unleash the night by Sherrilyn Kenyon- This book opened me to major respect for Kenyon and her writing. Not quite as hugely respected as Laurelle K Hamilton but she might just get there as i read her books. This story jumps out a little and builds the side by side world of the dark-hunters and the were-hunters. They not only battle the damions but they have spent eternity battling themselves. Some Were’s are humans how turn furry and some are animals who turn human but all in all they hate each other. It seems to be a huge society that Kenyon has opened herself up to on top of the dark hunters. This is the story of Werehunter- Wren Tigiran and Human Marguerite. I think she did a good job with this book because not only did we have the were loving human aspect you have a were who is considered an outcast for who he is. That opened up to learning a lot about the society and why it is as it is and their governing body. Gotta give the author credit for expanding an already HUGE world of mortals, immortals, gods, different tyes of Demons, Dark hunters and now Were hunters.

December 10, 2008 Man of my dreams by Sherrilyn Kenyon, Maggie Shayne, Suzanne Forster, Virginia Kantra- This is another group book of semi- short stories. Kenyon is the only one with truely supernatural characters but I found it to be an enjoyable book. I think books like this are a great way to introduce you to new authors to see how you will enjoy then. I plan to check out more of Shayne when I find some of her books and maybe the other authors later.

December 11, 2008 Bite Me if you can by Lynsay Sands- AHHH another new author to enjoy. I found Sands through one of the group books I read in the past titled “Dates from Hell.” This books is about the 4th in the series and I found myself understanding it without and problem and enjoying it. It is more along the typical romance end of paranormal. I would compare it to Christine Feehans novels. These remind me of the Kenyon novels too without all the background because they include the Rogue hunters and the council much like her hunters.

See more progress on: keep track of every book i read this year

Make me Smile

Date:2008-12-02 21:23
Subject:Latest list

November 10, 2008 Swallowing Darkness by Laurell K Hamilton – This was the culminating book in the Princess Meredith Gentry saga. I am said to see it end but I think she did an excellent job of bringing everything to a head and solving what she could. There is room for another book or two in this series but not in the same story line, it would kinda have to take where this ends and step into the world again. I hope she does write another but I kind of doubt it. She gave some time in this book to some of the characters she hadn’t given enough in the past. As with all of this story, I loved it and was said to see it go.

Took back The Artemis Fowl Files by Eoin Colfer- I didn’t quite finish this one. Its kind of a “backgroud” to the Artemis fowl saga which I have already read all of if he hasn’t come out with a new one recently (its about 5 books long). It was cute and would have been fun to read earlier in the series (like after book 2) but since I have already read the whole series, I found it to be mostly things I already knew. I made it through all but the last section so I feel like I got most of what I can out of it.

November 15, 2008 Purity in Death by J. D. Robb- Yep I am back to reading J.D Robb again and it seems like when I pick up one of hers, I grab 4 or 5 and read a few in a row. I am nearly caught up in the series now. I believe there is like 27 total or so and I have gotten 19 of them and am requesting most of the others. I love Eve Dallas as a character and I believe her personality has been built on one of the truest bases I have ever seen. This author knows Eve as much as she does her own best friends. This book was about what happens when the good people see the bad people get away too much and start taking it in their own hands. Throw in a lot of high tech stuff and futuristic theories and thats what you get. As with most of these I really enjoyed it.

November 15, 2008 Origin in Death by J. D. Robb- Leave it to Nora Roberts to jump on all the controversial topics she can. This book has a basis in medicine gone bad. I won’t tell you exactly what it is about but it is something we will deal with as a public by her time (2050’s). I rank this in the very top of the Robb books I have read. I found myself reading sections outloud to James and rereading parts myself to make sure i understood everything completely. The ending was perfect although not a usual one for Eve. If you are not going to read these books in order (which I think you should try to atleast so you can grow with Eve’s character) then this is a good one to try out so you get a feel for her writing.

November 16, 2008 Memory in Death by J. D Robb- This one was a typical story for Eve. Its a story about the long memories of those who were abused as children. Its a lot about a “Long Con” and how you can become someone you don’t like just to get back at someone who ruined your life. It spoke a lot about the ways that some people can abuse each other and how they don’t even see that as wrong. This one was not one of her best but it was enjoyable as always.

November 18, 2008 Safe Harbor by Christine Feehan- I enjoy all of Feehan’s books. She is a little softer than most of the paranormal authors I normally read but you need that from time to time. This was book 5 in the Drake Sisters series. Its a story of 7 sisters with “gifts” who have assorted witch like talents. I enjoyed this one because it was about a sister who was different on the inside from the outside, and of course I have a weakness for a love story.

November 20, 2008 Dark Curse by Christine Feehan- I had begun to be bored by the Dark series but the last 4 or so have taken a huge leap forward. I think I like them better now because they are not just the story of one carpathean man and his lifemate anymore. Now they are about the new couple and the struggle within the whole community. It is now Carpathians/ vampites/ Mages/ and jaguar people. I love when all the groups mix together. This one included a number of characters from previous stories and ones that will contribute to future stories.

November 21, 2008 Irish Tiger by Andrew Greeley- Ahhh Nuala Anne McGrail is such an amazing character. She is a fay Irishwomen who enjoys solving mysteries. They are great books building a base of strong characters and introducing new characters in every story. I love the background of chicago politics and family drama. Add in the Fay dogs and Nuala’s oldest daughter who is begining to “see” and you have a wonderful family of warriors for right. This one was not my favorite in the story, I think Mr. Greeley did not take the time to expand on the backgrounds in this one. Most of the other stories have had a historical background and much of the story was about that part of the problem along with todays problem, this one was just a typical who dun it.

November 22, 2008 Judgment in death and November 23, 2008 Betrayal in death both by J.D Robb- These two were some of the earlier “In Death” novels, both ones that I enjoyed but not nearly as much as the more recent ones.

November 24,2008 Night Pleasures by Sherrilyn Kenyon- This is only my second of this author and series and I am going to enjoy it. They are pretty simple love stories but they add greak myths, gods and goddesses and Vampires in to it. And there are a bunch of them so that is good

November 25, 2008 The Hunted by L.A. Banks, I checked out this series because for all basic reasons I ought to love it but for some reason I just don’t. I have been working on this book on and off for 2 months and finally finished it tonight. I might read another on of this series eventually but it is not a definant by any means. A little too christian based for me, I love vampire slayers but this is just not my stuff.

November 27, 2008 Devil may Cry by Sherrilyn Kenyon- This is another one from the Dark Hunter novels, it is actually about number 19 or so, so I am reading it way out of order. I did really enjoy it though and even being out of order did not affect it much. It opens up a few more characters and showed how two gods or ex gods could find love. I look forward to reading more of this series.

November 29, 2008 Out of this world by Laurell K Hamilton, Susan Krinard, Maggie Shayne, J.D. Robb- I really like these books of short stories, they introduce me to other authors. I had actually already read the Hamilton and Robb stories in this but a reread is always worth it. I enjoyed each of the new authors in this book and will look up more Maggie Shayne.

November 30, 2008 Visions in Death by J.D. Robb- As I have said before i love the Robb stories. This one would be abould upper midline for me. I enjoy the fact that it opens a subject matter that we do not face in our time and I also like that it shows the growth in relationships behind the side characters.

See more progress on: keep track of every book i read this year

Make me Smile

Date:2008-11-13 22:51
Subject:Paranormal books are love!

I havenâ™t been updating on my books as often as I should. I have found a few new ones this past few weeks and also explored a few of the authors I wanted to check out.

Ink Exchange by Melissa Marr, I checked this one out on Audio book simply because the cover looked so cool. Thank goodness it was a good book on top of it. It is actually book 2 in a series so I went back and read the other book later. It is a writing on the negatives of faery society and how things are not always bad and good. Can the head of the dark faery make the best choice for his people and still have a soul? Very young Adult but a reasonably quick enjoyable read.

Forbidden Magic by Cheyenne McCray. This was my first of Ms McCrayâ™s novels, I have read 2 or 3 of her short stories. I found this to be a little tedious at times and comparative to a Harlequin romance but still worth a little time spend reading it.

Hot Blooded by Christine Feehan, Maggie Shayne, Emma Holly and Angela Knight. I am really enjoying these short stories books. This was sexy and enticing. I had not read any of these authors other than Feehan in the past so I enjoyed this introduction to the others. Much of the stories were supernatural based thus a hell of a lot hoter.

Fantasy by Christine Feehan, Sabrina Jefferies, Emma Holly and Elda Minger. Another set of short stories. This one was not strictly Supernatural. I actually enjoyed the more historical romance story by Sabrina Jefferies rather than Feehans. Not the best of the short stories but still worth reading.

The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman. This is another book I checked out on Audio. I actually owned this book for a while and had a hard time getting into it but hearing it read by cast members really did it for me. itâ™s a scientifically creative book and from a childs perspective.

Born on a Blue Day by Daniel Tammet. This is an Audio I got for James and I ended up listening with him. itâ™s a biography of autistic savant. This man is an amazing number man much like âœRainmanâ He has learned to live life as fully as possible but also talks about all of the things he does differently. A good example is that if you give him a date no matter when it was he can tell you what day of the week it was. A little slow but interesting.

Fantasy Lover by Sherrilyn Kenyon. This is the first book in a long series. I am not sure how it works into others but it was a creative story. Not very paranormal though but I need a break from that every once in a while.

Maximum Ride: The Final Warning by James Patterson. Anyone who hasnâ™t read this series and isnâ™t against Young Adult novels should really check this out. I love Maximum Ride, its quick as can be, young, exciting and makes you think. What do you do with flying children after they have saved the world.

Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr. As I said earlier this is part one to the Ink Exchange book I listened to. I am actually very glad I got these out of order. I believe I would have still read the 2nd book but I would have had a whole different outlook on the few characters that you get to know in this book. What happens when the good faeries have to seduce humans to survive

See more progress on: keep track of every book i read this year

Make me Smile

Date:2008-11-13 22:47
Subject:New goal

There are times just about every month that my hubby and I get down to having no money and we gather what change we have and use it for whatever we need. From now on I want to make sure I put something, even if its just a quarter in Kenneth’s piggy bank each day and try for a dollar when I actually work and make some tips. We need to open him an account somewhere so he can go and deposit money in it ever week or so and that way he can understand that toys actually cost money.

See more progress on: Put money in my child's piggy bank everyday

Make me Smile

Date:2008-11-13 22:00

Oh my goodness did I take this one to heart on Halloween. I through a costume together at the drop of the hat and went to the local bar and flirted like hell and danced like I am not 200+ pds. I had a great time and really just felt like I deserved to be there dancing and laughing as much as anyone else.

See more progress on: be more confident

Make me Smile

Date:2008-11-13 21:56
Subject:Trying times

Ever since we moved back from florida I have been trying to call my sister and brother but so far no answers. I sent a letter to my sister and to my granna the other day so I guess we will see what happens from there. I have also been trying to email my family about once a month or so and send a few pictures here and there. I donâ™t feel like I am getting anything back from my family but I guess that isnâ™t the point. I have to reach out all I can.

See more progress on: Keep in touch with family better

Make me Smile

Date:2008-11-03 13:43
Subject:Ohh Halloween

November 3, 2008


Well James is gone to traffic court in Boone. I am praying they are understanding and willing to continue the case so maybe we can get a few things taken care of and come back and do the case after Christmas if we are lucky.

            I took Kenneth to do some Trick R Treating on Halloween. We went to two churches, one in Newland and one in Montazuma, then to Banner Elk town park where they did Trunk or treat (out of peoples cars rather than going house to house. He racked up. We ran into Heather Sullivan and her little girl Carlie and her boyfriend David at the Montezuma church. Heather is looking good. She is pregnant again, makes me a bit jelous. But I am happy for her. Then I took Kenneth to his great grandma’s and his Aunt Jane was there too. They of course thought he was cute as could be and friendly with me. Then I dropped Kenneth off at Kenny’s for the night. Thank God for grandparents. I went out for Halloween to The Corner Bar. Man did I end up trashed. Jaime had called saying she had a bad day and wanted to go out so she met me at the bottom of the road and we headed out. James met us there after he got of work. Man was he surprised when he walked in and I was all dressed up. I would dress up everyday if I could always get that reaction from him. Jaime’s wonderful brother Greg bought me a few drinks and Jaime got me some and James splurged and got me two shots of Patron. Tried to give greg some money at the end of the night but he wouldn’t let me. Oh hell did all the inhabitions drain away. It doesn’t help that I was dressed as a dominatrix haha, I brought my whip with me and everything. James actually only had 1 drink so he could take care of me. Jaime brought a friend, Brooke, from Boone so I finally got to meet her. I have a bunch of pics to post on Myspace. Marion (greg’s girlfriend) was hot as it gets in her camo gear. We also saw Amber Yates and Dustin. She was dressed as Alice in Wonderland and had him some Bunny stuff so he could be her white rabbit. It was great. I danced like a crazy person and bounced around like I was 18 again. I paid for it the next day though. We ended up taking the chef from James work (Matt) home and when I got out of our car and got into the Kia to run it home, I heard something pop. I think I may have twisted my back up worse. I am still having trouble feeling my toes and such. We have a Dr’s appt on Thursday so I am kinda waiting for that but if I still hurt tomorrow I may break down and go to the hospital. I ended up missing Jaime’s “passion party” because of it though and that sucks. But like she said, there will be more!

I should be able to get to Boone and post these this afternoon. Kenneth gets out of school early so I am going to pick him up then head to the library and hopefully meet James after his court case. I am going to look into getting a job in boone, we just can’t survive on this craziness with Pete’s.

I am sorry I haven’t had the chance to return calls to a lot of you, The minutes are flying through and since rent is due again, I can’t buy any more minutes. So I am texting instead of calling. Especially you Heidy. I am so sorry I haven’t called, Hopefully next week will be better and I can call. Feel free to text though.

Love ya all!

Make me Smile

Date:2008-11-03 13:42

Wednesday October 29 9:59 pm


          Have you ever felt dizzy from the words running circles in your head? The millions of things you want to explain to people and yet you feel like you can't. Their is a filter stuck between your brain and your fingers that tries to calm the pain, ease the chaos, find the bright side in things. Some days I just want to shove that filter aside and let myself role around in the harsh realities that are life and some days I am on the complete other end of the spectrum and I wish I could pull that filter around me and hide in a dark place and pretend like nothing bad is out there to get me. I believe that writing is the key to it all. If I could just unlock the filter and let a little out in a form that could be tolerated then maybe I could wrap my hands around them. Everywhere you look our world is filled with broken souls. Do you know anyone who has been left untouched? I sure don't. Ok maybe my father-in-laws girlfriend but only cause she has chosen to be blinded. A horse with blinders on them can walk down the street and never be afraid of the 3000 pound cars whizzing past as long as they don't turn to look. Sometimes I wonder if oblivion wouldn't be a safer world to live in but you can't be a survivor and live with blinders.

            How much of our lives are made up by our families. I spent most of my early years listening to people whine about fathers who left them, mothers who didn't care, divorce splitting their family and for some reason I felt hidden from it. I guess if you never have something/someone you don't grieve for them so much. I have never had a father and my mother never wanted me. That should fuck a person up shouldn't it. Just in the nature of it, those facts should change how a person functions. I made it through many many years never really looking that fact over for what it was. Later in life, as outside realities and other things started to wade into my world, I started to find little aches and pains that being alone had left me with. I spent so many years not caring about my mother and how she felt about me and treated me that when it finally did seep into my conscious, I was unprepared for it. This sudden sense of unworthy and neediness snuck up and sucked me down. But what the hell did I care about a father I never knew and a mother who was as much a child as I was. I never needed them so why need them suddenly. Its not so much that I needed them or even wanted them, I just needed to find a place of self worth and how can you find that when you feel that your own parents never wanted you? The world is a cold, hard place and we all have our dirt little lives to try to hold up to the light. If our emotional scars could be shown to the light we would all be so deformed that beauty would never be a question. They say that "Chicks Dig Scars". I wonder how we would feel about them if they came from emotional wounds instead of battles. What shell would we have left to show the world and would the scars ever fade. Do you ever lose those things that split you wide for the wind to settle into. Do they fade like a bruise does, Changing colors from the black of pure pain to green, then yellow, then finally back into your skin to be one more reminder of life. But shouldn't we be happy to have lived it. If we could see those physical reminders of what a person has lived through, wouldn't we stop and open our eyes to what others have survived. I have been through hell in my life. Things that most people never want to dream of, but I don't have the worst stories of my friends. I don't have the kind of stories that make you shudder. I lived and I continue to live everyday. But just like those outside bruises, Emotional damage can poison your system. It can leave you bled dry and praying for the rain to come and wash you away. God if our memories weren't so long and so vivid. You never forget the realities that have scarred you. They are your worst nightmares and your greatest successes all rolled into one.


Make me Smile

Date:2008-11-03 13:41
Subject:Writing on Darkness

Wednesday October 29 12:42am


            Darkness has a quality about it that most people never touch. You find it described over and over in books, movies, even children’s tales to each other under bed covers late at night. Inky Black Darkness, Velvet Deep Darkness, Impenetrable Darkness, a million descriptions all that circle the same small entity. But Darkness is not made by its color, depth or feeling, its made by its very vibrations. Fears creeps up your backbone more intensely when aided by the dark. Evil thoughts seem more easily attainable when a dark mist swirls around them, and monsters seem possible when shadows add the one simple fear we all have, We’re all afraid of the dark. But only the foolish clam that they are not afraid of the dark. As a entity, in and of itself, it is made of the most horrendous life altering substance possible, “without“. For that is what it truly is, without light. Hell is described as a place without god. Depression a life without happiness. So isn’t Darkness the worst of all those, for without light aren’t all the other “without” attainable. Would most of the things we fear not be easily vanquish if we but had a sunny day to look upon them with. If we could but shine a spotlight on every would be criminal, every monster in the closet, every doubt and fear, could we not see a reality without fear.

            But what happens when the things of the dark come into the light. What happens when our fears are beautiful and we fear them no longer. Does that make us any safer?


Make me Smile

Date:2008-11-03 13:40

Tuesday October 28th 8:15


Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.

          So Kenneth actually experienced his first snow day from school today. Its a little early but I think that's a good sign, the slopes could sure use a good year.

          As most of you know, we finally got to buy a cheap little prepaid phone on Sunday for my birthday, so if anyone wants to gift me, minutes for a Net 10 phone would be extremely appreciated ha-ha. So anyone who needs my number its 260-8470. It won't call out at the house but I can send text and check messages there so at least its there if I need it. As soon as I drive to the end of the driveway it works pretty good though so if you call don't be surprised if I text you back, it is less minutes and I am probably at home and can't do anything else anyways.

          I had a good birthday weekend. Jaime came up and went to Kenneth’s Fall Festival with me and a friend of ours actually won the $250 gift certificate for Wal-mart and he gave it to me for my birthday, Talk about luck! So that is how we were able to buy the new phone and some heaters for the house and gas for the week, etc. I went out to The Corner Bar that night with Jaime and her brothers and her brother Greg’s girlfriend Marion. We had a lot of picture. I am going to post the pictures on Myspace. Just look under my pictures and 10-25-08.

          How many times have I said it now, I have got to get a new job. They changed our hours again at work so now we are open mon-Saturday for lunch 11-4 and dinner 4-9, Saturday we are going to do breakfast 8-11 also. So there goes my breakfast hours but at least I am still working lunch. It helps with Kenneth a bit but the tips suck. I made $15 today. At least I paid my gas plus a touch. We are not sure if they need James at all anymore. Seeing as they can't make a schedule no matter how much time they have, who knows.

          I called my Gran earlier and although I didn't get to talk with her but a few minutes, she did tell me my beauteous cousin Amanda ran off and got herself married this weekend. Maybe my doing that first has set a precedent for my family ha-ha. There are three out of 5 of the married cousins that eloped rather than dealing with a wedding now. Actually talking to gran it seems like she did have a little wedding just a few family in a park but nothing big. I do wish her the best though. She is being shipped out (she is new to the Army) and she wanted her son to be able to come with her, so she married his father and they are trying to get on base housing. We'll have to see how things turn out. I want to write here a long note about being married and how life can be. I am not sure if I have all that much wisdom to give but I am always willing to share the wealth of knowledge in my soul.

          One of the other things we got on our Wal-Mart trip for my birthday was another CD case. We had been overfilling our 2 old ones and needed some more pages but I found a 206 disk case for like $14 so we grabbed it. It went a long way to thinning things out. So now we have two cases for our collections (artists we have or would like to have 2 or more disks of) and one for randoms. I still need to get another case for DVD's. We have a few of those, one for Series, Kenneth's stuff, and one for ours. The Series case is getting overfull but thats my next investment. I love having as much music as possible. It's a great feeling to just grab something out of the album and throw it on and see how it makes you feel. Like right now, I just put on Audioslave, I am not even sure what album it is or what’s on it but I know I like them and I know I haven’t put them on in forever so I pop it in. There are so many bands I want more of. I would like give good head for a copy of the new Tantric, Disturbed or Matchbox 20. Ok maybe not that extreme but pretty darn close. We need more Dave Matthews Band, Buffett, Ani Difranco, SCOTS, Breaking Benjamin, Fleetwood Mac, Allman Brothers, Goooooooddddd there is soo darn many. I could spend a 10 grand in a music store and not bat an eye. I am the same with books though so I guess I just need a lot more money ha-ha.


Make me Smile

Date:2008-10-27 15:47

October 24th 2008

6:25 pm


            Had a decent day at work today. I had to work breakfast and lunch. Richie Houston came in today. It is always neat seeing people from high school. Apparently Sarah (his wife) has taught him well cause he over tipped while his friend way undertipped. Maybe Richie was covering for him though. I didn't get a lot of time to chat with him but it was good seeing him. It really made me think about Bobby Daniels. Bobby was my first "serious"boyfriend and the man I lost my virginity to. The funny part is that I actually liked Richie at the time (we are talking 8th grade) but my friend liked Richie too so I decided to ask his best friend out so we could kinda be a 4some. haha look at me being good hearted. But then I ended up with Bobby for about a year and a half or more. I guess it was fated haha. To this day though, I wish Bobby and I could sit down and really talk about that time in our life, I am thankful that it was such a sweet guy who ended up training me haha. We really learned all the early sexual things together. I can't say we had good sex, hell we had no idea what we were doing. But I can say that we tried whatever we wanted and enjoyed each other. I was a bit of a bipolar bitch back then though and in the end drove him away. It doesn't help that his other best friend hated my guts. I still have pictures from back then and things he bought me. I actually have this ugly as hell stuffed red dog that I believe he got me for our first Valentines day, It got passed down to Kenneth when he was really little. That makes me feel really good. I also have some pictures he drew and assorted other stuff. Hell that was 15 years ago now. Last time I ran into him was the 4th of July that I was pregnant with Kenneth. So yeah great, I run into my ex looking like a balloon haha. But who is to say that he would even want to talk to me at this point in our life. I guess I am just the type who likes to think about the good old days and see people I haven't seen in forever. There are so many people I would love to sit down and talk with but who is to say things can ever be the same.

                I am so excited, James actually took the last of the raffle tickets to work with him last night and managed to sell them all. That means that we sold 91 of them. Isn't that cool. I would love to see some of the people we sold to win. Not to mention that I would love to win myself haha. I hope one of the people we sold to will win. Kenneth would get a $10 gift certificate if any of them do. I know he would enjoy going to Wal-mart and spending that. God do we need a few heaters so I am keeping my fingers crossed that we will win! I wonder how many other people sold. They were trying to sell 100 per class so I don't expect too many but with us selling 91 that may make it more than we thought. I wish we could have helped out more but I guess anything is good. Oh yeah and today my boss at Pete's gave me a $25 gift Certificate to donate also. I am not sure who I am going to get that to at this late date but..... Its still a decent prize. I talked to Jaime today and she is going to come up tomorrow and go to the festival with us. We are hoping that Kenny can keep Kenneth afterwards so we can go down to Rocky's birthday party for a short little bit. I sure don't wanna stay all night or anything but I would love to go celebrate with them some. Ohh yeah and the Chef at James work is supposed to be making me a Birthday Dessert! I do have to work for a couple of hours tomorrow morning though but maybe I will make a little money and that would help me feel better about my Birthday some. It sounds like they may actually have me changed over to the Breakfast shift permenantly. I will be working a few lunches here and there also. I like the hours for Breakfast but you def. make more money for Lunch so I am glad to pick up a few here and there. I am hoping tomorrow I will only be working Breakfast. I made about $50 today between lunch and breakfast so that helped but even with that and James paycheck we are almost broke already haha. Of course I did splurge a little on the Raffle tickets and Kenneth's pictures and that took a chunk out of us but atleast we got that paid for.



Make me Smile

Date:2008-10-27 15:45

October 23rd 2008

8:59 pm


Plans and Dreams


            I have been thinking a bit today about my plans and such. I started a list at 43things.com a few years ago and like most all the other things I do, I lost track of it. I need to get on there when I can and update the things that I have finished and change some of the things listed. I guess a lot has changed and a lot hasn't. I am not sure really what my plans are at this point. I know what I want to do eventually and James finally knows what he wants to do. Now as far as how to slowly get to those points. What are the long term steps to that and what are the short term ones. First of all getting James and or I in some classes next semester would be a good first step. The other question is, what about Kenneth, what are my goals for Kenneth. Now that I am working mornings I could actually get him in some classes of some sort (Karate?) but I am afraid I will start that and then we will have to change what hours I work or whatever. The other question is do we want to live here for a while? Being closer to Boone would make things much easier for us but I really like the school Kenneth is going to. I hear they may be closing next year anyways so maybe we will stay here for the rest of his school year and then decide after that. I hear really good things about Valley Crucis school, so maybe down that way would be good. I wanted to live down towards were James' parents live but that would put us farther away from most things. I wonder where James can take Nursing classes? I need to look into Caldwell Community College.

                I guess a lot of things come down to the court case too. If it ever goes through.

Make me Smile

Date:2008-10-27 15:43
Subject:Days, weeks, years

October 22, 2008

9:15 pm




            Well, it is our buddy Rocky's birthday today. We went by to see his girl/kids for a little bit today but he wasn't going to be off for a while so we had to head out. It is amazing to think about the number of years we have all passed together. I have known Rocky for 9 years now. That is a huge number for me. I meet Rocky through James of course, back when we were just screwing around as we took a break from reality. I had left Derick (for about the 30th time) and James was in between Drug scenes and for a few weeeks we ended up at my house in boone just enjoying each other. At best I can say it was on and off but if I was truly honest I would say that it was a prelude to what we knew we needed to find we just didn't realize it would be with each other. Rocky became my potato man. He was this young (hell James wasn't but about 18 at the time) drunk mess of a kid who somehow became a part of family to me. Long before I realized James would be my husband, I already considered him family and this kid he had with him all the time found his way into my heart too. Rocky's a mess and always has been but he has a kind heart and treats women he respects better than most all the men I have been around. I used to have get togethers at my house and we would all get trashed and the next morning/afternoon I would get up and make the one thing I was good at, Steak, Mashed Potatos and gravy, and corn or some other veggie. After realizing that Rocky always seemed to wake up as soon as I hit the kitchen, I put him to peeling taters for me and from that day foward he was my potato man. When I was pregnant with Kenneth he moved to Lenoir with James cousin Andy and a few months later found his "Pocahontas". That would have been around the end of 2003. Rocky and LuLu have been together for about 5 years now and I won't lie and say they have a great relationship but they do have 2 beautiful little boys and they seem to find a balance some of the time. I would love to see them have the highs that James and I do. They always seem on the verge of fighting about something but they are surviving. In a lot of ways they are doing better than James and I. They have their own place, It's just a little trailor above his moms but it is nice and has room for the family. In the end I wish the two of them the best. Who is to say what couple is made for each other and which isn't. Maybe hating each other is their way of showing passion. They are both such different people from James and I. As much as James and Rocky mesh together wonderfully, they both have such huge gaps in how they see the world. I guess it says something about their friendship that they are still friends despite those things.

                I worked breakfast this morning. It was so dead, I literally made $4 in tips. I had two singles and that was it. I work again tomorrow, so I am hoping for a better outlook on things. James and I aren't as far behind as we had been but keeping gas in the car and such, is hard without the tips. I am so let down by that company. Everyday there is something else that makes me agrevated. I am getting a paper this week and actually looking into other jobs. I am so darn afraid of driving that car and I let it stop me from really looking into other things but I did drive for a little while today. I drove from Russell's antiques to the base of old Beech. I killed it twice trying to get pulled out at Cranberry but I felt a little less panicky. I guess I better try to drive some this week and get more used to it. I really need to try to drive it without James in the car, I use him to tell me when to shift and where I should be and stuff and I won't always have that. It is amazing how much harder it is to learn things as you get older.

                Well it is 4 days to my birthday and didn't I promise to get a dang phone for myself. I guess that was overreaching. Dosen't look like we will have the money but who knows. I might suddenly find that my family hasn't forgotten me entirely and a card show up in the mail. I don't see it happening but who knows. I did send my little sister a letter last week and i am going to try to send a note to my mom when I can. I really should sit down with a pen and paper and write to all the people I need to but every chance for relaxation I get, I put into reading instead. Who knows though, now that I am working such short hours everyday, I may get more of a chance, and atleast I will be home some to spend time with Kenneth. We worked on his homework page tonight (all about the letter I) and then read a book together and played Letter Go Fish 3 times. He is still struggling with a lot of letters but doing it as a game seems to help him some.

                Kenneth's school pictures are tomorrow. I picked out a cute outfit that I think will show up good in the pictures but I am never good at that stuff. They were too dang expensive but ya gotta buy them. He is out of school Friday and then his harvest festival is Saturday night. I haven't had the chance to call Jaime and see if she is gonna be able to come or not but it would be nice. Not that I don't understand if she can't make it. I think Rocky is having a get together Saturday night so we may go by for a few minutes after James gets off work. Who knows. I am still kinda up in the air about Halloween though. I want to take Kenneth to Boone and go to the thing at Jaime's daycare but I think doing that and then driving to Lenoir the next day for her "Passion" party might stress us out moneywise a bit much. We will see though.

                Well I am off to do a few dishes before James gets home so it actually looks like I achieved something today! HAHA

Make me Smile

Date:2008-10-27 15:41

October 20, 2008

8:35 pm


            Well James and I made a quick trip into Boone after he picked me up from Pete's. Let me just say that helping out in the moving things and such, today, was quite a bit of nonsense. I got to Pete's at noon and noone was there. So I waited and waited and eventually one of the chef's show up and tells me that Lisa is at Mountain Tavern, sorting through everything there and seeing what they can move down. Yeah well the sorting took till nearly 5 and then I had to leave. So when I left, Pete;s was covered in all the stuff from Mtn Tavern. Lisa still didn't have a schedule or a menu done. So basically I am going back in at 10am tomorrow to help organize everything. I don't know if I am working tomorrow night or not but I guess I will find out in the morning.

                We made a quick trip to the library to pay for my late fees and get on the computer a few minutes. I have been trying to upload all the pictures from Nicky and Marissa's wedding back in April. I am still only about half way there. I am posting them on myspace so taht everyone can see. I wish I had the internet at home so I could really work on it but anything is better than nothing and getting to the library once a week is atleast working a bit at a time.

Make me Smile

Date:2008-10-20 18:09
Subject:Day one

October 20, 2008 10:54 AM

            Getting ready to head into work for a while. I told lisa I would come in and help get the restaurant re-set up to open tomorrow. They are bringing a lot of stuff from the other restaurant and changing the menu and rearranging everything. I was gonna go for most of the day but James and I really need to get to the library before they close. at 7, so I am going to tell her I need to leave about 4:30 so James and I can make it to the bank to cash our check and get to boone by about 5:30. I am sure she will be pissy about it, they are pissy about everything but thats my plan atleast. I am really clueless as to how our checks will be this week so I am not sure how much splurging I can do but I want us to hit the dollar store and wal-mart while in boone and then head for a bite of dinner. I am going to try to call Jaime and see what time her classes are so maybe she can meet us for dinner and tell me about her weekend. I am also thinking we can pick up a few applications while we are there. .

Make me Smile

Date:2008-10-20 18:09
Subject:End of the Weekend

October 19, 2008   10:02 pm


            It has been a very long and intense weekend. I was supposed to work yesterday morning and then leave at 11 and come back at 5. We were so slammed and 2 waitresses did not show up so I ended up working lunch also. We got so slammed that we used every bit of the ribs, turkey and brisket and when 3pm rolled around every single table in the restaurant was dirty. So despite the fact that this was Wolly worm weekend and they lost a lot of money, they decided to close that night. So I stayed with the dishwasher Trisha and we cleaned the whole restaurant. I left about 8pm and Trisha and I went to James' restaurant on Beech and had dinner and a few drinks. Damn did I need it. I spent way too much money for a little dinner but I really needed it.

            Kenneth went to Linville Caverns on Friday and seems like he had a great time. He of course forgot to get the postcards and instead he bought a big plastic sword. I guess I shouldn't be too mad but I was really hoping for a few cards. Ahh but him being happy is the most important thing. His Fall Festival is this coming Saturday, I asked for off work but I don't think James can get off work. So I am hoping that Jaime can maybe come up and go with me but we will see. She came by today and I missed her. I left about 3 to go get Kenneth from James' mom and she must have come by around 4. It seems like this keeps happening. Sunday is the one day I always have off but because of that it is also the day that we do a lot of running too

            I can't believe that my 29th birthday is in a week. It sucks. We need to remember to get James' dad Kenny a card too, his is 2 days after mine. Also Rocky's is in a few days. His is on the 22nd. October is a busy month all around. Kenneth has a lot of days off and stuff in the next few weeks, so I am going to have to make lots of adjustments in my schedule. But seeing as the whole restaurant that I work at is changing and reopening on Tuesday, I have no idea what I will be working next week or even what the restaurant will really be like. It just gives me so many reasons to look for another job. I am sick of the ups and downs of working for them.

Make me Smile

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